Chapter15 On to Oxford 
　  
　　We left Streatley early the next morning．We were going to Culham， and we wanted to spend the night there．Between Streatley and Walling ford the river is not very inter－esting．Then from Cleeve there is quite a long piece of the river which has no locks． Most people are pleased about this because it makes everything much easier，but I quite like locks，myself． I remember that George and I nearly had an accident in a lock once… 
　　It was a lovely day， and there were a lot of boats in the lock．Someone was taking a photograph of us all， and the photographer was hoping to sell the picture to the people in the lock．I did not see the photographer at first， but suddenly George started to brush his trousers，and he fixed his hair and put on his hat． Then he sat down with a kind，but sad，expression on his face，and he tried to hide his feet． 
　　My first idea was that he had seen a girl that he knew，and I looked round to see who it was．Everybody in the lock had stopped moving and they all had fixed expressions on their faces．All the girls were smiling prettily，and all the men were trying to look brave and handsome． 
　　Then I saw the photographer and at once I understood．I wondered if I would be in time．Our boat was the first one in the lock， so I must look nice for the man's photograph． 
　　So I turned round quickly and stood in the front of the boat．I arranged my hair carefully，and I tried to make myself look strong and interesting． 
　　We stood and waited for the important moment when the man would actually take the photograph．Just then，someone behind me called out，'Hi！ Look at your nose！' 
　　I could not turn round to see whose nose it was，but I had a quick look at George's nose．It seemed to be all right．I tried to look at my own nose，and that seemed to be all right，too． 
　　'Look at your nose，you stupid fool！'the voice cried again， more loudly this time． 
　　And then another voice called，'Push your nose out！You two，with the dog！' 
　　We could not turn round because the man was just going to take the photograph．Was it us they were calling to？What was the matter with our noses？Why did they want us to push them out？ 
　　But now everybody in the lock started shouting， and a very loud， deep voice from the back called，'Look at your boat！You，in the red and black caps！If you don't do something quickly， there'll be two dead bodies in that photograph！' 
　　We looked then， and we saw that the nose of our boat was caught in the wooden gate at the front of the lock．The water was rising， and our boat was beginning to turn over．Quickly，we pushed hard against the side of the lock， to move the boat．The boat did move， and George and I fell over on our backs． 
　　We did not come out well in that photograph because the man took it just as we fell over．We had expressions of' Where am I？'and' What's happened？'on our faces，and we were waving our feet about wildly． In fact， our feet nearly filled the photograph． You could not see much else． 
　　Nobody bought the photographs． They said they did not want photographs of our feet．The photographer was not very pleased… 
　　We passed Wallingford and Dorchester，and we spent the night at Clifton Hampden，which is a very pretty little village． 
　　The next morning we were up early，because we wanted to be in Oxford by the afternonn．By half past eight we had fin－ished breakfast and we were through Clifton lock．At half past twelve we went through Iffley lock． 
　　From there to Oxford is the most difficult part of the river．First the river carries you to the right，then to the left；then it takes you out into the middle and turns you round three times．We got in the way of a lot of other boats；a lot of other boats got in our way-and a lot of bad words were used． 
　　However，at Oxford we had two good days．There are a lot of dogs in the town． Montmorency had eleven fights on the first day and fourteen on the second．This made him very happy． 
　　If you are thinking of taking a trip on the river， and you are going to start from Oxford， take your own boat（unless you can take someone else's without being discovered）． The boats that you can hire on the Thames above Marlow are all right： they do not let too much water in， and they have seats and things． But they are not really boats which you want people to see．The person who hires one of these boats is the kind of person who likes to stay under the trees．He likes to travel early in the morning or late at night， when there are not many people about to look at him．When he sees someone he knows， he gets out of the boat and hides behind a tree．I remember that some friends and I hired one of these boats one summer… 
　　We had written to ask for a boat， and， when we arrived at the boathouse， we gave our names．The man said，'Oh，yes．'And then he called out to another man，'Jim，fetch “The Queen of the Thames”．' 
　　Five minutes later，Jim came back with a very old piece of wood． He had clearly just dug it up from a hole in the ground． When he dug it up， he had damaged it very badly． 
　　We asked Jim what it was． 
　　'It's“The Queen of the Thames”，'he answered． 
　　We laughed at this，and then one of us said，'All right．Now go and fetch the real boat．' 
　　They said that this was the real boat… 
　  
15 来到牛津 
　  
　　第二天一大早我们就离开了斯特雷特利。我们计划去卡拉姆，在那里过夜。从斯特雷特利到沃灵福德一带，河上风光平淡无奇。从克利夫以上，好长一段河面上没有一座水闸。对于此，大多数人很满意，因为这样，任何事情容易多了。对我个人来说，我是十分喜欢水闸的。我还想起有一次乔治和我在一个水闸差点惹出祸来…… 
　　那天天气真好，水闸里挤满了船。有人在给我们照相，摄影师想借此把照片卖给水闸里的游客。起初，我没有看见摄影师，却突然看见乔治慌慌张张地把裤子拉平，把头发摆弄摆弄，又把帽子戴上。他坐下来，脸上装出一副和善，但又忧郁的表情，还拼命把两只脚藏起来。 
　　我马上猜想他突然看见了自己认识的姑娘。我四下张望，看看她到底是谁。可是水闸里的人一个个都变成了木头人似的，一动不动，脸上的表情绷得紧紧的。所有的姑娘们都做出优雅的微笑状，所有的男人们都摆出一副勇敢、潇洒的表情。 
　　后来，我看到了摄影师才恍然大悟。我还赶得上吗？我们的船在水闸最前一排，我可一定要在照片上显得好看才行。 
　　于是，我赶快扭过身子，站在船头，仔细理了一下头发，尽量让自己显得英勇又机敏。 
　　我们站在那儿，等待着拍照的关键时刻。这时，忽然我背后有人喊了起来。 
　　“喂！瞧你的鼻子！” 
　　我当然不能回头去看究竟是谁的鼻子，不过，我偷偷照了一眼乔治的鼻子，那鼻子好好的。我又使劲看看自己的鼻子，也是好端端的。 
　　“瞧瞧你的鼻子！你这个傻瓜！”那人又扯大了嗓门叫道。 
　　接着，又有一个声音喊道：“把你们的鼻子挪开，你们两个，带狗的！” 
　　我们实在不能转身，因为摄影师马上就要拍照了。他们是在吆喝我们吗？我们的鼻子出什么问题了？干吗要我们把鼻子挪开呢？ 
　　现在，整个水闸里的人都咆哮起来了。从我们背后传来一个洪亮的声音：“看看你们的船！你们两个戴红帽子和黑帽子的家伙。你们要是动作再不快点，照片上会照上两个死人了！” 
　　这时，我们才转身一看，看见我们的船鼻子卡在水闸前的木门里。水在不断升高，我们的船眼看就要翻了。我们赶紧使劲向闸门推，总算是把船推离了水闸，可我们两个摔了个仰面朝天。 
　　照片出来时我们简直不成样子。因为恰在我们摔倒的一霎那，摄影师拍了照。我们脸上一副“我这是在哪儿啊？”和“出什么事了？”的表情，四只脚在空中乱舞。说句实在的，我们的脚几乎把照片占满了，没剩下多少风景好看了。 
　　没有一个人买照片。他们说他们才不愿意买只有我们四只脚的照片呢。摄影师呢，也满心不快。 
　　我们又驶过沃灵福德，多切斯特，在克利夫顿·汉普登过夜，那是个风光十分绮丽的小村庄。 
　　第二天早晨我们起得很早，因为我们想下午的时候赶到牛津。还不到八点半我们就吃完了早餐，通过了克利夫顿水闸。十二点半，我们又驶过了伊夫雷水闸。 
　　可是从那里到牛津的那段水道是最难航行的。一开始，水流一会儿把你冲向右，一会儿冲向左；接着又把你冲到河中央，打三个转。一会儿我们的船撞上了很多别人的船；一会儿别人的船又挡了我们的道——总不免谩骂声起，恶语伤人。 
　　还好，我们在牛津愉快地玩了两天。城里有很多狗，“元帅”到的第一天就打了十一次架；第二天又打了十四次。这下子可过足了瘾。 
　　要是你打算从牛津出发开始河上旅行，最好还是带自己的船去（当然，带了别人的船去也可以，只要别人不察觉）。泰晤士河上在马洛以前租的船倒还不错：不会进太多的水，有坐的地方，配备也齐全。可这些船的外表都不是能让你出风头、摆架子的。租这种游船的人都是性格温和的人，喜欢停在树荫之下。他们大多清晨或者黄昏之后才划船，因为那会儿，没有多少人看他们。他们一旦看见熟人，就会跳出船，躲到树后面去。我还记得有一年夏天，我和几个朋友也租了那样一条船…… 
　　我们预先写信去订了一条船。我们到了船坞，报上自己的姓名。那个人说：“哦，对了。”接着，他又叫出来另一个人，“吉姆，去把那艘'泰晤士河皇后号'拖来。” 
　　五分钟之后，吉姆拖着一截古老的烂木头回来了。很显然是他刚才从地底下挖掘出来的，而且挖掘出土的时候还碰坏了许多地方。 
　　我们问吉姆这玩意是什么。 
　　“是'泰晤士河皇后号'，”他回答说。 
　　我们大声笑话着，然后其中一人说：“行了，快去把真船拖过来吧！” 
　　可他们说，这的确是条真真正正的游船。 
　　　    


 