19 Finding shelter 
　  
　　I was put down at Whitcross，a crossroads on the moor，after travelling for two days in the coach．As it rolled away，I realized I had left my parcel inside，and given the coachman all the coins in my purse．I was alone on the open moor，with no money or possessions．Lonely white roads stretched across the great，wide moors as far as the hills．I was glad to see there were no towns here，because I did not want people to question me or pity me．So I walked across the moor，until I found a dry place to sleep，in the shelter of a small hill．Luckily it was a warm night，with no rain．The next day was hot and sunny，but I needed food and water，so I could not stay on the moor． 
　　Taking one of the white roads，I eventually found a small village．I needed all my courage to knock on some of the doors，asking if there was any paid work I could do．None of the village people could help me，and I could not bring myself to beg for food，although by now I felt weak and faint．At the baker's I offered to exchange my leather gloves for a small cake，but the baker's wife looked at my dirty clothes and said，'I'm sorry，but how do I know you haven't stolen them？'All I ate that day was a piece of bread，which I begged from a farmer eating his supper．I spent another night on the moor，but this time the air was cold and the ground was damp．Next day I walked from house to house again，looking in vain for work．I was now very weak from lack of food，and I began to wonder why I should struggle to stay alive，when I did not want to live． 
　　It was getting dark again，and I was alone on the moor．In the distance I could see a faint light，and I decided to try to reach it．The wind and rain beat down on me，and I fell down several times，but finally I arrived at a long，low house，standing rather isolated in the middle of the moor．Hiding near the door，I could just see into the kitchen through a small uncurtained window．There was an elderly woman，who might be the housekeeper，mending clothes，and two young ladies，who seemed to be learning a language with dictionaries．The kitchen looked so clean and bright，and the ladies so kind and sensible，that I dared to knock at the door．The elderly woman opened it，but she must have thought I was a thief or a beggar，because she refused to let me speak to the young ladies．The door closed firmly，shutting me out from the warmth inside． 
　　I dropped on to the wet doorstep，worn out and hopeless，prepared to die．There the young ladies'brother found me，when he returned home a few minutes later，and he insisted，much against the housekeeper's wishes，on bringing me into the house．They gave me bread and milk，and asked my 
　　'Jane Elliott，'I replied．I did not want anybody to know where I had come from．To their further questions I answered that I was too tired to speak．Finally they helped me upstairs to a bedroom，and I sank gratefully into a warm，dry bed． 
　　For three days and nights I lay in bed，exhausted by my experiences，and hardly conscious of my surroundings．As I was recovering，Hannah，the housekeeper，came to sit with me，and told me all about the family．She had known them since they were babies．Their mother had been dead for years，and their father had died only three weeks before．The girls，Diana and Mary Rivers，had to work as governesses，as their father had lost a lot of money in business．St John，their brother，was the vicar in the nearest village，Morton．They only used this house，called Moor House，in the holidays． 
　　When I felt strong enough to get dressed and go downstairs，Diana and Mary looked after me very kindly，and made me feel welcome in their pleasant home．Their brother，however，seemed stern and cold．He was between twenty-eight and thirty，fair-haired and extremely handsome．Diana and Mary were curious about my past，but sensitive enough to avoid asking questions which would hurt me．St John，on the other hand，made determined efforts to discover who I was，but I，just as firmly，refused to explain more than necessary．I told them only that，after attending Lowood school，I became a governess in a wealthy family，where an unfortunate event，not in any way my fault，caused me to run away．That was all I was prepared to say．I offered to do any kind of work，teaching，sewing，cleaning，so that I could become independent again．St John approved of my keenness to work，and promised to find me some paid employment．  
　  
第四部 在摩尔屋 
　 
19 寻找栖身地 
　  
　　乘马车行进了两天后，我在威特考斯下车，一个沼泽地上的十字路口。马车走后我才意识到自己把包裹忘在了车上，钱包里的所有硬币又都给了车夫。我孤零零地站在旷野上，身无分文，一无所有。白色的道路孤独地延伸在广阔的草地上，一直通到山脚下。我很高兴这里看不到乡镇，因为我不想让别人问我或是可怜我。于是我走过沼泽地，直到在小山脚下的避风处找到一块可以睡觉的干地方。所幸夜晚是温暖的，没有下雨。第二天，阳光灿烂，天气很热，但我需要食物和水，所以不能再在沼泽地上待下去。 
　　我沿着一条白茫茫的路走着，终于找到一个小村子。我鼓起自己所有的勇气，敲响了一些人家的门，打听是否有什么能挣钱的活可干。村里没人能帮助我；而且尽管我感到虚弱头晕，却不能让自己去乞讨。在面包店，我想用皮手套换一小块点心，但面包师的妻子却看着我的脏衣服说：“对不起，可我怎么知道这不是你偷的呢？”一整天我只吃了一片面包，是从一个正吃晚饭的农民那儿讨来的。我在沼泽地上又过了一夜，但这夜205  
　　天凉了，地上湿乎乎的。第二天，我又挨家挨户地去找工作，一无所获。现在我因为没有食物已变得非常虚弱，不想活了时开始纳闷自己为什么还拼命地要活着。 
　　天又黑了，我只身一人在沼泽地上。看到远处有微弱的灯光，便决定到那儿去。风裹着雨打在我的身上，我跌倒了好几次，但终于还是走到了一幢孤零零立在沼泽地中间的长长的矮房子前。我藏在门边，只能从一个没挂帘子的小窗看到厨房。一位上年纪的妇人，可能是管家，正在补衣服，还有两个年轻姑娘似乎正借助字典学外语。厨房看上去干净明亮，姑娘们显得那么善良知理，于是我壮着胆子敲了门。年长的妇人开了门，但她一定以为我是一个小偷或乞丐，因为她不让我和两位年轻姑娘讲话。门紧紧关上了，把我和屋里的温暖断然隔开。 
　　我倒在潮湿的台阶上，精疲力竭，不抱任何希望，只等着死。几分钟后，年轻姑娘的哥哥从外面回来，在这儿发现了我。他不听管家的话，坚持要把我抬到屋里。他们给了我面包和牛奶，还问我叫什么名字。 
　　“简·艾略特，”我回答说。我不愿让任何人知道我是从哪里来的。他们又问了其他问题，我只是说我太累了，不想说话。最后，她们扶我上楼到卧室休息，我感激地躺到了温暖的、干燥的床上。 
　　三天三夜，我由于劳累过度一直躺在床上，几乎不知道我周围的一切。随着我渐渐好转，管家汉娜就来陪我坐坐，并跟我讲这家人的事情。他们还在儿时，汉娜就认识他们。他们的母亲已去世多年，而父亲在三个星期前刚刚死去。两个女孩戴安娜和玛丽·李维斯不得不做家庭教师，因为他们父亲的生意亏了大本，她们的哥哥圣约翰是最近的村子莫顿的牧师。她们只是在假期里才住在这幢叫摩尔屋的房子里。 
　　我有力气穿好衣服下楼时，戴安娜和玛丽和善地照顾着我，让我觉得在这个和睦的家中是受欢迎的。但她们的哥哥却似乎严肃而冷漠。他约莫28到30岁，金发，非常英俊。戴安娜和玛丽对我的过去感到好奇，但却敏感地不提及可能伤害我的问题。另一方面，圣约翰却坚持不懈地想要搞清我究竟是谁，而我也坚决地拒绝做出没有必要的解释。我只告诉他们在洛伍德上学之后，我到一个富人家做家庭教师，一件不幸的事使我跑掉了，但那绝不是由于我的过错。我就准备说这些。我提出什么事我都愿做，教书、缝补、清洗，只要能再次独立。圣约翰赞同我对工作的迫切要求，答应帮我找份挣钱的工作。 
　　　    


 