Chapter 11 Hotels and tinned fruit 
　  
　　After breakfast I was sitting by the river，and thinking，when George said，'Perhaps，when you've rested enough，you could help to wash the plates and things．'so I cleaned the pan with some wood and grass-and George's wet shirt． 
　　Then we started to move up the river again，past Old Wind-sor，which is very pretty．After that，the river is not very inter-esting until you get to Boveney．George and I were towing the boat then．As we were passing Datchet，George asked me if I remembered our first trip up the river．On that trip we reached Datchet at ten o'clock at night．All we wanted to do was to eat and go to bed． 
　　I replied，'Yes，I do remember it．'I remember it well．In fact，it will be some time before I forget it… 
　　It was one Saturday in August．There was George，and Harris，and me．We were tired and hungry．When we got to Datchet，we took out of the boat the basket of food， the two bags，and the coats and things．Then we began to look for somewhere to stay．We passed a very pretty little hotel，but there were no roses round the door．I wanted somewhere with roses round the door．I do not know why．Anyway，I said，'Oh，we don't want to go there．Let's look for a little hotel with roses round the door．' 
　　So we went on until we came to another hotel．That was a very nice one，too，and it did have roses．But Harris did not like the man who was standing by the front door．Harris said that he did not look like a nice man，and he was wearing ugly boots．So we went on．We walked for some time，but we did not see any more hotels．Then we met a man and we decided to ask him． 
　　'Excuse me，do you know any nice little hotels near here？'we said． 
　　'Well，'he said，'you're coming away from them．Go back，and you'll come to the Black Horse．' 
　　We said，'Oh，we've been there，and we didn't like it．There were no roses round the door．' 
　　'Well，then，'he said，'there's the Travellers'rest just beyond it．Have you tried that？' 
　　Harris replied that we did not want to go there．We did not like the man who was staying there．Harris did not like the colour of his hair．He did not like his boots either． 
　　'Well，I don't koow what you're going to do，then，'the man answered，'because they are the only two hotels here．' 
　　'No other hotels！'Harris cried． 
　　'None，'the man replied． 
　　'What are we going to do now？'Harris asked． 
　　Then George spoke．He said，'You two can ask someone to build you a hotel．I'm going back to the Black Horse！' 
　　So we went back to the Black Horse． 
　　'Good evening，'the man at the desk said． 
　　'Oh，good evening，'George answered．'We want three beds，please．' 
　　'I'm sorry，sir，'the man replied，'but we haven't got three beds．' 
　　'Oh，wgll，it doesn't matter-two beds，then．Two of us can sleep in one bed，can't we？'George continued．He looked at Harris and me． 
　　Harris said，'Oh，yes．'He thought that George and I could sleep in one bed very easily． 
　　'I'm very sorry，sir，'the man repeated．'We haven't got any beds．We've already got three men in one bed．' 
　　We picked up our things，and we went over to the Travellers'rest．It was a pretty little place．I said I thought it was better than the other hotel．Harris said it would be all right．We would not look at the man with red hair and ugly boots． 
　　The people at the Travellers'rest did not wait to hear what we wanted．The lady at the desk said she had already sent away fourteen people．There was no room of any kind．We asked her if she knew somewhere we could spend the night．She said there was a little house along the road… 
　　We did not wait．We picked up the basket，the bags and the coats，and we ran along the road． 
　　The people there laughed at us．There were only three beds in the house，and there were seven men there already． 
　　Someone said，'Why don't you try the little shop next to the Black Horse？' 
　　So we went back along the road，but there were no beds at the little shop．However，there was an old lady in the shop．She said she had a friend who had some rooms．She added that she would take us there． 
　　The old woman walked very slowly，and it took us twenty minutes to get to her friend's house．During the walk，she told us about all the pains she had in her back．When we got there，there were already some people in her friend's rooms．From there we went to number 27．Number 27 was full．They sent us to number 32，and number 32 was full． 
　　Then we went back along the road．Suddenly Harris sat down on the basket．He said he was not going to move．He added that it seemed to be nice and quiet there， and he said that he would like to die there． 
　　Just then，a little boy came past．'Do you know any old people that we can frighten，so that they will give us their beds？'we asked him． 
　　'No，I don't，'the boy answered，but he added that his mother would give us a room．And that was where we spent the night-in two very short beds． 
　　After that，we were never quite so difficult about hotels… 
　　On our present trip，though，nothing exciting happened．We continued slowly on our way，and we stopped for lunch near Monkey Island． 
　　We decided to have cold meat for lunch．Then，after that，George brought out a tin of fruit．We love tinned fruit，all three of us．We looked at the picture on the tin．We thought about the fruit．We imagined the taste of it．We smiled at each other，and Harris got out a spoon．Then we looked for the tin-opener．We took everything out of the big basket．We took everything out of the bags．There was no tin-opener．We pulled up the boards at the bottom of the boat．We put everything out on the grass by the river，and we shook every-thing．There was no tin-opener！ 
　　Then Harris tried to open the tin with a little knife，and he cut himself badly．George tried with some scissors．The scissors flew up，and nearly hit him in the eye．I tried to make a hole in the tin with the sharp end of a piece of metal．But I missed．As a result，I fell in the water，and the tin flew away and broke a cup． 
　　Then we all got angry．We took that tin，and we put it on the grass by the river．Harris went into a field and got a big，sharp stone．I got a long，thick piece of wood．George held the tin，and Harris put the sharp end of his stone against the top of it．I took the piece of wood，and held it high in the air．Then I brought it down as hard as I could． 
　　It was George's hat that saved his life that day．He keeps that hat now．On a winter evening，when men are telling sto-ries about the dangers they have known，George brings out his hat．He shows it to his friends．Then he tells the story again-and he adds more details to it each time． 
　　Harris was not hurt too badly． 
　　After that，I took the tin away．I beat it until I was exhaust-ed and miserable．Then Harris took it． 
　　We beat it until it was long and thin．We beat it until it was square．We hit it with the wood until it was every shape there is-but we could not make a hole in it．Then George tried，and he knocked it into a shape which was strange，and terrible，and ugly．It frightened him，and he threw away the piece of wood．Then the three of us sat round that tin on the grass，and we looked at it． 
　　There was one big line across the top of the tin that looked like a mouth．It seemed to be laughing at us，and this made us very angry．So Harris ran at it，and picked it up．He threw it，as hard as he could，into the middle of the river．As it went down into the water，we shouted awful things at it．Then we got into the boat，and we left that place，and did not stop until we reached Maidenhead． 
　　We went through Maidenhead quickly，but，after that，we travelled along more slowly．We stopped for tea just before we got to Cookham．By the time we got through the lock it was evening． 
　　It was a bit windy，and someone had made a mistake because the wind was behind us．That does not usually happen．But that afternoon the wind actually helped us on our way，and the boat moved quite fast． 
　　There were no other people on the river，except for three old men．They were sitting in a boat，and they were fishing．As we got nearer，we could see that they were old．They were also quite serious，because they were watching their fishing-lines very carefully．The sun was going down，and it threw a red light across the water．It was very beautiful，and we felt that we were sailing into some strange land． 
　　We did not sail into some strange land．We went straight in-to that boat with the three old men in it．At first，we did not know what had happened．But then， from the words which rose on the evening air，we understood that we were near peo-ple．We also understood that those people were not happy．We had knocked those three old men from their seats，and they were all lying on the bottom of their boat．They were trying to stand up and they were picking fish off themselves．As they worked，they shouted unkind things about us-not just the usual things，but special things about us，and about our families． 
　　Harris called out，You ought to be pleased that something so exciting has happened to you！'He added that he was very unhappy to hear men of their age use those bad words． 
　　But the three old men did not seem to agree with Harris． 
　　At Marlow we left the boat near the bridge，and we went to spend the night in a hotel． 
　  
11 客栈和水果罐头 
　  
　　早饭后我坐在河边，陷入了沉思。乔治说：“喂，要是你休息得差不多了就帮忙洗洗碗碟吧。”我只好用树枝和乱草洗锅子，还用了乔治的湿衬衫。 
　　然后我们又沿着河上路了，经过了古老的温莎镇那一片风景优美的地方。过了那儿风景就单调得很，一无可取，一直到布文奈。我和乔治一起拉着纤。当我们经过达切特时，乔治问我还记不记得第一次在河上旅游的情景。那一次，我们晚上十点钟才到达切特，大家只想吃点东西然后赶快去睡觉。 
　　我说：“记得，当然忘不了。”我的确记得很清楚。说实在的，要让我忘了还真得费点时间呢。 
　　那是八月份的一个星期六，同游的还是我们三个。那会儿又饿又累，到达切特的时候，我们从船里拿出一篮子食物，两个包，外套和其它一些东西。接着大家就想找地方安顿下来。我们经过一家很漂亮的小旅店，只是门口旁边没有玫瑰花。我偏偏想找一家门口有玫瑰的，也不明白怎么会如此心血来潮。我说：“漫着，我们别进去！咱们再找找其它旅店，看看有没有门口长满玫瑰的。”我们一直走，又来到另外一家旅店。那家旅店也不错，而且门口的确有玫瑰花。可哈里斯说，门口站着的那个人让人讨厌，看上去不象个好人，穿的靴子也那么难看。于是，我们只好再往前走，走了一阵子也没有看到其它旅馆。我们在路上碰到一个行人，便决定问问他。 
　　“劳驾，您知道附近有哪些好点的旅馆吗？”我们问道。 
　　“哟，”他说，“你们走过了，往回走会看到黑马旅馆。” 
　　我们说：“喔，那里我们已经去过了，可是不大喜欢那一家，它门口没有玫瑰花。” 
　　“哦，是这样，”他说，“那一家旅馆过来还有一个客来旅馆，你们去那了吗？” 
　　哈里斯说我们不想去那家，不喜欢站在那儿的那个人。哈里斯不喜欢他头发的颜色，也不喜欢他穿的靴子。 
　　“那我真不知道你们该怎么办了，”那个指路人回答说，“因为这里只有那两家旅馆。” 
　　“再没有别的了？”哈里斯叫道。 
　　“再没有了，”那个人回答说。 
　　“那我们现在怎么办？”哈里斯又道。 
　　接着，乔治说：“你们俩不妨找人给你们新盖个旅馆住住，我可要回黑马去了。” 
　　后来我们只好都回黑马。 
　　“晚上好，”一个男人在前台招呼道。 
　　“啊，晚上好，”乔治回答说，“我们要三个床位，谢谢。” 
　　“对不起，先生，”那人回答说，“可是我们没有三个床位。” 
　　“哦，是吗？没关系——那就两个也行。我们可以有两个人睡在一张床上，是吧？”乔治接着说，看了看哈里斯和我。 
　　哈里斯说：“对，可以。”他以为乔治和我可以舒舒服服挤在一张床上。 
　　“非常抱歉，先生，”那个男人说，“我们的床位全没了。我们已经有三个人挤在一张床上睡了。” 
　　就这样，我们拿起行李又去客来旅馆。那地方不大，却很美。我说这家比另一家要好。哈里斯也说没事，我们也不必去管那个长着红头发，穿着难看靴子的家伙了。 
　　可旅馆里的人根本没等我们开口。前台的一位女士说她已经打发走十四个人了，什么样的房间都没有了。我们问她附近还有哪些地方可以留宿一夜。她说沿着路走下去有一幢房子。 
　　我们二话没说，抄起篮子，抓起包，拎着衣服，一溜烟儿沿着路跑了下去。 
　　到了那里，那儿的人直笑话我们，房子里只有三张床，可已经住了七个人了。 
　　有人说：“怎么不去试试黑马旁边的那家小杂货店呢？” 
　　于是我们又原路折回去。可小杂货店里也没有床铺了。有个老太太在杂货店里，她说有个朋友有几间屋子，还补充道愿意带我们去。 
　　老太太走路很慢，我们花了二十分钟才到那里。一路上老太太一直唠叨着说腰上这也疼，那也疼。我们到的时候，她朋友家已经住了几个人了。从那儿我们又去27号，27号也住满了，把我们送到32号，32号也满了。 
　　我们只好回到马路上。忽然哈里斯一屁股坐在篮子上，说他一动也不想动了。还说这地方倒挺安静，他宁可死在这儿算了。 
　　正在这个时候，一个小男孩路过。我们问他：“你知不知道哪里有些老家伙们，我们可以吓唬他们一下，让他们把床计给我们？” 
　　“哦，我不知道，”小男孩回答说，不过他又说他妈妈可以给我们一个房间。那天晚上我们就睡在了那里——在两张特别短的小床上。 
　　从那以后，对于旅馆问题，我们再也不敢挑三拣四了。 
　　目前这一段旅程，我们还没有碰到什么今人激动的事儿。我们把船慢慢悠悠划到猴子岛附近，停下来吃午餐。 
　　我们准备吃冷肉。接着乔治拿出一听水果罐头。我们三个都很喜欢水果罐头。看着罐头盒上美丽的图画，想着里面的水果，想像着它的滋味，大家乐滋滋的，相视而笑。哈里斯拿出了一把调羹。接着大家找起了启罐器。我们把大篮子里的东西都拿出来，又把包里的东西都拿出来，可是找不到。我们把船底下的板子全拉开了，把所有东西都搬到河边草地上，把每件东西摇了又摇，可就是找不到启罐器！ 
　　哈里斯想用小刀开罐头，结果把自己狠狠划了一刀；乔治用剪刀试了试，结果剪刀飞了，差点扎到他的眼睛；我想用铁条的尖头在罐头上钻个小孔，可是没有对准，结果我摔进水里，罐头弹起来，砸碎了一只茶杯。 
　　我们大家气得发疯。我们把罐头拿到岸上放在草地上。哈里斯找来一块又大又尖的石头，我拿了一根又长又粗的木头。乔治拿着罐头，哈里斯把石头尖对准了罐头的顶盖，我高高举起木头，使足了力量，狠命砸下去。 
　　那天乔治全靠他的帽子才大难不死，他至今还保存着那顶帽子。每当冬夜来临，大家聊着自己知道的各种各样的历险，乔治就会把这顶帽子拿出来向朋友们展示一番，并把他的故事复述一遍，而且还不免要添油加醋。 
　　哈里斯还好，伤得不太重。 
　　后来我又接过那个罐头，又敲又打，直弄得我精疲力尽，垂头丧气。哈里斯又接着去锤打。 
　　我们把罐头锤得又细又长，又敲得又正又方。我们拿着木头把罐头敲成了各种各样的形状——偏偏就敲不开一个小孔。然后乔治又拿过去敲打，敲得罐头成了个稀奇古怪，狰狞可怕的形状。乔治自己都害怕起来，干脆把木头扔了。我们三个人围着罐头坐在草地上，愣愣地看着它。 
　　罐头顶上有一条粗粗的横线，好象咧着的嘴，冲着我们狞笑。我们越发怒气冲冲。哈里斯狠狠冲过去，一把抓起来，使劲扔出去，扔到河中心。我们看着它沉下去，用很难听的话骂它，然后上了船，离开那个鬼地方，直到梅登黑德才停脚。 
　　我们急急忙忙驶过梅登黑德，等过了它慢慢才把速度减下来。快到库克姆时我们停下船，喝了下午茶。等我们通过水闸时已经是暮色苍茫了。 
　　那天有点风，好象老天爷打错了主意，风从我们背后吹来，这可真是十分难得。不过，那天下午的风的确大大助了我们一臂之力，船飞也似地奔驰起来。 
　　河上除了三个老头儿，再没有其他人影。他们坐在船上钓鱼。我们靠上去的时候，才看清楚他们都上了年纪，而且还特别一本正经的样子，眼睛一眨不眨地盯着钓鱼线。太阳快落山了，向水面射出万道灿烂的金光，美不胜收，我们也仿佛驶进了一片神奇的国土。 
　　可是，实际上我们并没有驶进那神奇的地方，而是径直地朝着三个老头的船冲了过去。起初我们还不知道出了什么事情。但是从夜幕中传来呼喊声，我们揣测附近有人，而且人家还十分愤怒和不满。原来，我们把三个老头儿从椅子上撞落到船底挤成一堆。他们一边吃力地爬起来，把撒落的鱼儿从自己身上拿开，一边冲着我们叫骂——不仅仅是些寻常的话，他们的叫骂还涉及我们本人，以及我们的三亲六眷。 
　　哈里斯喊了一嗓子：“高兴点吧！这么好的事摊到你们头上。”他又说，象他们这么一把年纪的人还破口大骂人，实在让他痛心。 
　　可是三个老头并不买哈里斯的帐。 
　　到了马洛，我们在桥边上了岸，去旅馆过夜。 
　　　    


 