9 A visit from Joe 
　  
　　‘My dear Pip，Mr Gargery asks me to tell you he will be in Lon－don soon，and could visit you at 9 o’clock on Tuesday morning，at Mr Herbert Pocket's rooms， if that is all right with you．He and I talk about you every night， and wonder what you are saying and doing． 
　　Best wishes， 
　　Biddy． 
　　P．S．I hope you will not refuse to see him， even though you are a gentleman now． He is such a good man．’ 
　　I received this letter on Monday， and realized that Joe would arrive the next day． I am sorry to confess that I did not look forward to seeing him at all．If I could have kept him away by paying money， I certainly would have paid money．I knew that his clothes， his manners and uneducated way of speaking would make me ashamed of him． Luckily Herbert would not laugh at him． 
　　At nine o’clock the next morning I heard Joe's clumsy boots on the stairs， and at last he entered Herbert's rooms． 
　　‘Pip， how are you， Pip？’ He shook both my hands together， his good honest face shining with happiness． 
　　‘I'm glad to see you， Joe．Give me your hat．’ 
　　But Joe insisted on holding it carefully in front of him．He was wearing his best suit， which did not fit him at all． 
　　‘Well！What a gentleman you are now， Pip！’ 
　　‘And you look wonderfully well， Joe．’ 
　　‘Yes， thank God．And your poor sister is no worse． And Biddy is as hard－working as ever． But Wopsle isn't our church clerk any longer！ He's become an actor！Acting in one of your London theatres， he is！’Joe's eyes rolled around the room，noticing the expensive furniture I had bught recently． 
　　‘Do sit down to breakfast， Mr Gargery，'said Herbert politely．Joe looked round desperately for a place to put his hat，and finally laid it lovingly on a shelf． Breakfast was a painful experience for me．Joe waved his fork in the air so much， and dropped so much more than he ate， that I was glad when Her－bert left to go to work．I was not sensitive enough to realize that it was all my fault， and that if I hadn't considered him common， he wouldn't have been so clumsy． 
　　‘As we are now alone， sir——’began Joe． 
　　‘Joe，’ I said crossly，‘how can you call me sir？’ 
　　He looked at me quietly for a moment．‘Wouldn't have come， you see，’he said slowly and carefully．‘wouldn't have had the pleasure of breakfast with you gentlemen． But I had to come．Got a message for you， Pip．Miss Havisham says Es-tella's come home and would be glad to see you．’ 
　　I felt the blood rush to my face as I heard her name． 
　　‘And now I've given my message，'said Joe，standing up and picking up his hat．‘Pip，I wish you even more success．’ 
　　‘But you aren't leaving already， Joe？’I protested． 
　　‘Yes， I am，’he said firmly． Our eyes met， and all the ‘sir’ melted out of his honest heart as he gave me his hand．‘Pip，dear old boy，life is full of so many goodbyes．I'm a blacksmith， and you're a gentleman． We must live apart．I'm not proud，it's just that I want to be in the right place．I'm wrong in these clothes， and I'm wrong in London，but I'm fine at the forge， or in the kitchen， or on the marshes． You won't find so much wrong with me if you come to see Joe，the blacksmith， at the old forge，doing the old work．I know I'm stupid， but I think I've understood this at last． And so God bless you， Pip， dear old boy， God bless you！’ 
　　His words， spoken simply and from the heart，touched me deeply． By the time I had managed to control my tears， and looked round for him， he had gone． 
　　I decided to visit Miss Havisham as soon as possible． Next day， when I arrived to take my seat on the coach to our town，I discovered I was sitting in front of two convicts， who were being taken to the prison-ships by their guard．The prisoners wore handcuffs， and iron chains on their legs． With horror I suddenly recognized one of them－it was the man in our village pub who had given me the two pound notes！ and strangely enough， during the journey I heard the prisoners talking about it． 
　　‘So Magwitch asked you to give the boy two pounds？Trusted you to do it？’ 
　　‘That's right．And I did what he asked．The boy had helped him， you see． Fed him， and kept his secret．’ 
　　‘What happened to Magwitch in the end？’ 
　　‘They sent him to Australia for life， because he tried to es-cape from the prison－ship．’ 
　　I knew I looked so different that he would not recognize me， but I was afraid all the same． All the horror of my child－hood experience with the escaped convict had come back to me， just when I thought it was safe to forget it． 
　　But once we had arrived，and I was on my way to Miss Havisham's house，I thought only of my bright future．She had adopted Estella，she had more or less adopted me． She perhaps wanted me to inherit the dark old house and to marry Estella． But even though I was in love， I didn't hide from myself the fact that I would be unhappy with Estella． I loved her because I couldn't stop myself loving her． 
　　I was surprised to see Orlick opening the gate to me． 
　　‘So you aren't working for Joe any longer？’I asked． 
　　‘As you see， young master，’he said rudely． 
　　I knew he could not be trusted， and I decided to tell Mr Jaggers that Orlick was not responsible enough to work for Miss Havisham． Mr Jaggers would probably send him away． 
　　When I entered Miss Havisham's room， there was a well－dressed lady sitting with her． When she lifted her head and looked at me， I realized it was Estella． She had become so beautiful that I felt very distant from her． In spite of all my education， I still seemed to be the coarse， common boy she used to laugh at． 
　　‘She's changed very much，hasn't she， Pip？’ asked Miss Havisham， laughing wickedly．I replied confusedly． I could see that Estella was still proud， and I knew that it was she who made me feel ashamed of home， and Joe，but I also knew that I could never stop loving her． 
　　She and I walked in the ancient garden， talking quietly about our childhood meetings．Now that we were adults， she seemed to accept me as a friend．I could not have been happier． I felt sure Miss Havisham had chosen us for each other． What a fool I was！ 
　　Suddenly she stopped and turned to me．‘Miss Havisham may want us to spend more time together in future． But in that case I must warn you that I have no heart．I can never fall in love．’ 
　　‘I can't believe that，’ I replied． As she looked straight at me， I recognized something in her face． Had I seen that ex－pression recently，on another woman？ 
　　When we went back to the house，Miss Havisham spoke to me alone．‘Do you admire her， Pip？’ she asked eagerly． 
　　‘Everbody who sees her must admire her．’ 
　　She pulled my head down to hers with her bony arm and whispered，‘Love her，love her，love her！If she likes you，love her！ If she hurts you， love her！ If she tears your heart to pieces，love her！’I could feel the muscles on her thin arm round my neck． She seemed so angry that she could have been talking about hate， or revenge， or death， rather than love． 
　  
9 乔的来访 
　  
　　“我亲爱的匹普： 
　　葛吉瑞先生让我告诉你，他马上到伦敦，如果你方便的话，将在星期二早晨9点钟在赫伯特·朴凯特的房间里拜访你，我和他每天晚上都谈论你，想知道你说的和干的事情。 
　　最美好的祝愿。 
　　毕蒂。 
　　又及：即使你现在是一位绅士了，我希望你不会拒绝见他，他真是一个好人。” 
　　我星期一收到了这封信，知道第二天乔将到来。很抱歉我得承认，我一点也不想见他。如果我能给点儿钱把他打发走，我一定付钱。我知道他的穿戴、举止和没教养的说话方式，会让我羞耻。幸运的是，赫伯特不会嘲笑他。 
　　第二天早晨9点钟，我听到乔的那双笨拙的靴子上楼声，最后，他进了赫伯特的房间。 
　　“匹普，你好吗？匹普？”他摇晃着我的两只手，他那友好诚实的脸上流露出愉快的表情。 
　　“我见到你很高兴，乔，把帽子给我。” 
　　但是，乔坚持小心翼翼地在他面前拿着帽子。穿了一套他最好的衣服，对他一点也不合身。 
　　“喂！你现在是一名绅士，匹普！” 
　　“你的气色好极了，乔。” 
　　“是的，感谢上帝。你可怜的姐姐也不错，毕蒂像以前一样努力地干活。不过，伍甫赛不像以前是我们的教堂职员啦！他成了一名演员！他正扮演你们伦敦戏院的一个角色！”乔的眼睛扫视着屋子周围，发现了最近我买的那件昂贵的家具。 
　　“坐下吃早餐吧，葛吉瑞先生，”赫伯特礼貌地说。乔绝望地四周寻找一个放帽子的地方。最后，他恋恋不舍地把帽子放在一个架子上。对我来说，早餐是一个痛苦的经历，乔频繁地在空中挥舞着他的叉子，吃的还没有掉得多，当赫伯特离开去工作时，我很高兴，我不那么敏感了，认识到都是我的过错，如果我不认为他粗俗，他就不会如此笨拙的。 
　　“现在只剩下我们两个了，先生——”他开始说。 
　　“乔，”我不高兴地说，“你怎么能叫我先生呢？” 
　　他平静地看了我一会儿，“不打算来的，你明白，”他慢吞吞地、认真地说，“和你们绅士不会吃一顿愉快的早餐，但是，我必须来，让你得到一个信息，匹普。郝薇香小姐说，艾丝黛拉回来了，她很乐意见见你。” 
　　当我听到她的名字时，顿时面红耳赤。 
　　“现在我已经转达了我的信息，”乔说，站起来拾起他的帽子，“匹普，我祝你更加成功。” 
　　“你要走吗？乔。”我不同意地说。 
　　“是的，我这就走，”他紧接着说。我们相对而视，当他向我伸出手时，所有的“先生”都被他那诚实的心触化掉，“匹普，亲爱的老伙计，没有不散的宴席。我是一个铁匠，而你是一位绅士，我们必须分开生活，我不妄自尊大，那是我要去的合适地方，我穿这身衣服觉得不舒服，在伦敦不自在，而我在铁匠铺、厨房、沼泽地自在得多。如果你回来看乔，那个铁匠，在破旧的铁匠铺干老本行，你不会发现我会有那么多不舒服的。我知道我愚蠢，不过，我想最后我会明白这些的。从此，愿上帝保佑你，匹普，亲爱的老伙计，愿上帝保佑你！” 
　　他的话，说得简明扼要，发自内心，他深情地摸摸我。等我设法控制住我的眼泪，转首找他的时候，他已经走了。 
　　我决定尽可能快地去拜访郝薇香小姐。第二天，当我找到了马车找坐位去镇上时，发现我正坐在两名罪犯前面，卫兵把他们带到船上监狱，罪犯带着手铐和脚镣。突然，我恐慌地认识他们其中的一个，是在我们小酒店给我两英镑钞票的那个人！太奇怪了，在路途行走期间，我听到罪犯们在谈论这件事。 
　　“因此，马格韦契让你给那个孩子两英镑钱吗？要托你去办这件事？” 
　　“对，我是按他的要求干的，那个孩子救过他，供养过他，为他保密。” 
　　“最终马格韦契发生什么事情？” 
　　“他们把他终生发配到澳大利亚，因为他企图越狱。” 
　　我知道，我看上去比以前大不相同，致使他不会认出我来。可是，我照样害怕，我童年时代和那个逃犯经历的所有恐怖又回到我面前。此刻我想，忘记它是最安全的。 
　　终于我们到达目的地，我在去郝薇香小姐家的路上，只想我的辉煌前程，她收养了艾丝黛拉，也或多或少收养了我，或许她要我继承那座黑暗的旧住宅，并让我和艾丝黛拉结婚。当然，我爱上艾丝黛拉，我不隐瞒我自己的事实，和艾丝黛拉结婚我不会是幸福的。我爱她，因为我不能阻止自己爱她。 
　　我大吃一惊。看到奥立克给我打开了大门。 
　　“你不是一直为乔干活吗？”我问。 
　　“你明白，年轻的主人，”他粗鲁地说。 
　　我知道，不能信任他，我决定告诉贾格斯先生，奥立克为郝薇香小姐干活不太可靠，贾格斯先生很可能会把他赶走。 
　　当我进到郝薇香小姐的房间，有一位穿着入时的女子和她坐在一起。当她抬起头看着我的时候，我认出来了，正是艾丝黛拉。她变的如此漂亮，致使我感到同她的距离十分遥远。尽管我受到全面的教育，我似乎还是她过去嘲笑的粗俗、平庸的孩子。 
　　“她变化很大，是吗？匹普。”郝薇香小姐恶意地笑着问，我拒绝回答。我能看出，艾丝黛拉仍然是傲慢，我知道是她让我为我的家和乔感到羞愧。但是，我也知道，我永远不能停止爱她。 
　　我和她在那个古老的花园里散步，平静地谈论着童年发生的事情。现在我们都是成年人了，她好像接受我作为一个朋友。我高兴不起来，我确信郝薇香小姐在捉弄我们，我是一个大傻瓜！ 
　　突然，她停住脚步转向我，“郝薇香小姐可能让我们在将来一起度过更多的时光。但是，在那种情况下，我必须警告你，我没兴趣，我永远也不会坠入爱河。” 
　　“我不能相信这些，”我回答说，当她直勾勾地看着我时，从她的脸上我认清了一些事情。最近我在其他女人脸上看到过那样的表情吗？ 
　　当我们回到那座房子时，郝薇香小姐单独对我说，“你喜欢她吗？匹普。”她热切地问。 
　　“人人见了都会喜欢她的。” 
　　她用那骨瘦如柴的手臂拽低我的头，小声对我说：“爱她，爱她，爱她！如果她喜欢你，爱她！如果她伤害你，爱她！如果她把你的心撕成碎片，爱她！”我能感觉到她那搂着我脖子的瘦臂肌肉。她好像提起恨、报复、死而不是爱十分忿怒。 
　　　    


 