12 The future 
　  
　　Six months later，John Duncan was living in a small flat near the sea．He had lost his job，and had had to sell his expensive house． He couldn't afford the payments on it． 
　　From a window in his flat，he could look at the sea．He sat and looked at the cold，grey sea for hours，every day． 
　　Christine would have her baby soon．He had bought lots of baby clothes to give her．His bedroom was full of baby clothes —little pink coats and trousers for a girl，blue ones for a boy．There were little soft toys too—teddy bears and small animals with blue，empty eyes． 
　　But he hadn't given any of these things to her，because she wouldn't talk to him．When he went to see her，she closed the door in his face；when he rang，she put the phone down；when he wrote，she sent the letters back unopened． 
　　There were a lot of books and magazines in his bedroom，too．But he kept them under his bed．He read them sometimes at night，but he didn't like to see them during the day．They were about babies，and the diseases that babies could get，be-fore they were born．There were some terrible things in the books，terrible pictures．He didn't like to think about them，but he couldn't stop．He thought about them all day， all the time． 
　　Today，as he sat staring out of the window at the sea，he could not stop his hands shaking．Every morning he rang the hospital，to ask if his daughter Christine MacDonald was there．He had rung this morning，and a nurse had said yes，Christine was there，and the baby was coming．That had been four hours ago．For two hours John had sat by the telephone，afraid to ring the hospital again．Three times he had picked it up，and three times he had put it down again． 
　　He picked it up again，and rang the number．Seven… five …eight… three…it was no good．He put the phone down again．He could not hear the news from the cold voice of a nurse over the telephone．He had to see the baby for himself． 
　　He got up，put on his coat，and went downstairs．There was a cold wind outside，blowing from the sea．The sea and the sky were grey and miserable．He went into a shop and bought some flowers．He chose them carefully—bright red and yellow colours—and the shopkeeper put paper around them to keep them safe．John took them and walked quickly，nervously，along the windy road by the sea，towards the hos-pital． 
It was raining out at sea．Already the rain was falling on the sandbanks where the seals used to live．Soon it would be falling on the town．John Duncan shivered，and turned his coat collar up．Then，with his bright flowers in his hand，he walked on，into the winter wind． 
12 前途 
　  
　　6个月以后，约翰住在一所靠海的小公寓里。他已经失去了工作，并且不得不卖掉昂贵的房子，他担负不起房费。 
　　从他公寓的窗口可以望见大海。他每天坐在窗口几小时望着那冰冷阴沉的大海。 
　　克里斯汀马上就要生小孩儿了。他买了好多婴儿的衣服想送给她。他的卧室里堆满了婴儿衣物——女孩穿的粉红色的小外衣、裤子，男孩穿的蓝色衣服。还有柔软的小玩具——玩具熊和嵌有蓝色毫无生气眼睛的小动物。 
　　但是他没有把任何这些东西给她，因为她不理他。当他去看望她时，她当面把门关上；当他打电话时，她挂上电话；当他写信给她时，她原封退回。 
　　他的卧室里还有很多书和杂志。但他把它们藏在床下。他有时晚上读它们，但是他不喜欢白天见到它们。它们是关于婴儿和婴儿在出生前可能得的疾病的书。书中有一些可怕的情景，可怕的图片。他不愿去想它们，但他止不住。他整天在想它们，无时无刻地在想。 
　　今天，当他坐在窗口凝视着窗外的大海时，他的手禁不住地颤抖。每天早晨他都打电话到医院问她的女儿克里斯汀·麦克唐纳是否在那儿。今早他又打电话，一个护士说是的，克里斯汀在那儿，婴儿就要降生了。那已是4小时以前的事了。他已经坐在电话机旁两小时，害怕再给医院打电话。他3次拿起电话，又3次放下电话。 
　　他再次拿起电话，拨了号码。7—5—8—3，没有用。他再次放下电话。他不能在电话里护士冷淡的声音中听到这个消息，他一定要亲自去看孩子。 
　　他起身穿上外衣，走下楼梯。外面从海上刮来一阵冷风。海面和天空一片阴暗凄凉。他走进一家商店买了一些花。他细心地挑选——鲜红和黄色——店主把它们用纸包扎好以防损坏。约翰拿起它们在风中飞快地忐忑不安地走在海边通往医院的路上。 
　　海上下起了雨。已经看到雨正落在海豹曾栖身过的沙滩上。很快小镇上也会下起雨。约翰·邓肯身上发抖，他把衣领竖起来。然后手里拿着他鲜艳的花，顶着冬天的寒风继续走去。 
　　　    


 