12 Pip discovers the truth 
　  
　　While Estella lived in London，staying with friends of Miss Havisham's，I often visited her．She had an endless stream of admirers，and I was jealous of all of them．I never had an hour's happiness with her，but I still thought about her，day and night，and my dearest wish was to marry her．Several times Miss Havisham ordered me to bring Estella to visit her，and of course I always obeyed．Estella was as proud and cold as ever，with her admirers，with Miss Havisham and with me． 
　　One man who admired her and followed her everywhere was the unpleasant Bentley Drummle．One day I asked her about him． 
　　‘Estella，why do you encourage someone like Drummle？You know very well he's stupid，and nobody likes him．’ 
　　‘Don't be foolish，Pip，'she answered．‘Perhaps I encourage him because that has a certain effect on the others．’ 
　　‘But he isn't worth it！’I cried angrily． 
　　‘What difference does it make？'she answered tiredly．‘If I smile at him，it's because it means nothing to me．You should be glad that I don't give you false looks or smiles．At least I am always honest with you．’ 
　　But while my heart was aching for Estella，I had no idea that I would soon be hit by a disaster which would completely destroy my hopos and dreams．The chain of events which had begun before I ever met her was slowly reaching its end． 
　　Herbert and I had moved to rooms in a house by the river，in the Temple area．One evening he was abroad on business and I was alone at home，reading．It was terrible weather，stormy and wet，with deep mud in the streets．The wind rushing up the river shook the whole building，and the rain beat violently against the windows．As I closed my book at eleven o’clock，I heard a heavy footstep on the stairs．When I went to the door with my lamp，I saw a man coming slowly upstairs．He was wearing rough clothes，and he was about six－ty，with a brown face and long grey hair．But what really surprized me was that he was holding out both hands to me． 
　　‘Can I help you？’I asked politely but coldly． 
　　‘Ah！Yes，’he said，dropping his hands，‘yes，I'll explain．’He came into the sitting－room，where he looked round admiringly at my furniture and books．He held out his hands to me again，but I refused to take them．Then he sat down heavily in a chair，and rubbed his eyes with one rather dirty hand． 
　　‘You see，’he said，‘it's disappointing．Looked forward to this day for so long，I have．But it's not your fault．I'll explain．Is there anybody near who can hear us？’ 
　　‘Why do you，a stranger，visiting me late at night，ask that question？’I asked．And then suddenly I knew who he was！In spite of the years that had passed，I was sure he was my convict！ And when he held out his hands again，this time I took them．He raised my hands to his lips and kissed them． 
　　‘You helped me all those years ago，Pip！Never forgotten it！’He seemed to want to put his arms around me，but I stopped him． 
　　‘If you are grateful to me for what I did in my childhood，I hope you have improved your way of life now．It wasn't necessary to come here to thank me．But you must understand that．…’I stopped speaking as I noticed how strangely he was staring at me． 
　　‘What must I understand？’he asked，his eyes fixed on me． 
　　‘That I don't wish to be your friend．You and I met once in the past，but now our lives are separate．Will you have a drink before you leave？’As I handed him a glass of rum，I noticed that his eyes were full of tears．‘I'm sorry if that sounds hard，’l added．‘I didn't mean it to be．Good luck in the future！’We drank together．‘How have you been living recently？’ 
　　‘I was sent to Australia，you know，because I escaped from the prison-ship．After several years I finished my punishment， and so I was allowed to work for myself．I did every kind of job there．It was a hard life，but I made a lot of money．’ 
　　‘I'm glad to hear it，’I said．‘That reminds me，I must give you back the two pounds you sent me．I don't need it now．’And I handed him two new pound notes from my purse．Still watching me，he held them near the lamp until they caught fire． 
　　‘May I ask，’he said，‘how you have done so well，since you and I met on those lonely marshes？’His eves were still fixed on mine，and I began to tremble． 
　　‘I－I've been chosen to inherit a fortune，’I whispered． 
　　‘Perhaps I can guess how much，'said the convict．‘Could it be，well，five hundred pounds a year？’I stood up，holding on to the back of my chair，my heart beating like a hammer． 
　　‘The agent who arranged it all，’he continued．‘was he perhaps a lawyer，name of Jaggers？’ 
　　Suddenly I realized the awful truth．I could not speak nor breathe，and fell on to the sofa．He brought his fierce old face close to mine，and bent over me． 
　　‘Yes，Pip，dear boy， I've made a gentleman of you！You see，I promised myself that all the money I earned out there in Australia should go to you！I'm your second father，Pip！I'm not a gentleman myself，and I didn't go to school，but I've got you，Pip！And look what a gentleman you are！And what books you've got！ You'll read them to me，Pip！And I'll be proud of you even if I can't understand them！Didn't you ever think it could be me who was sending the money？’ 
　　‘Oh no，no，no，’I replied．‘Never，never！Wasn't any－one else involved at all？’ 
　　No，just me，and Jaggers，of course．Who else could there be？Dear boy，I kept myself going，you see，through all the hard work，just by thinking of you．And I promised myself I'd come back to England one day，and see my boy．’He laid his band on my shoulder．‘Now you must find a bed for me，’he added，‘and remember，not a word to anybody．I was sent away for life，and they'll hang me if they discover I've come back．’ 
　　My feelings were horribly confused．The man who had paid for my education and luxuries for years was risking his life to see me．I could not like him，in fact my whole body trembled with disgust when he touched me，but I had to protect him． 
　　He went to sleep in Herbert's room．After locking all the doors carefully，I sat weakly down by the fire and tried to make sense of my life．How foolish my dreams had been！ Miss Havisham had never intended to make me rich，or let me marry Estella．But there was something worse than that．It was for this convict，who could be caught and hanged at any moment，that I had deserted Joe．I could never，never，never forgive myself for that． 
　  
12 匹普真相大白 
　  
　　当艾丝黛拉生活在伦敦和郝薇香小姐的朋友住在一起时，我常去拜访她。她有一个川流不息的崇拜者队伍，我是他们大家所嫉妒的。我和她从来没有半小时的快乐，但我仍然日夜想念她，我的最美好的愿望是和她结婚。郝薇香小姐几次要求我带着艾丝黛拉去看她。当然啦，我总是服从。艾丝黛拉对她的崇拜者、对郝薇香小姐、对我像以往一样的傲慢和冷酷无情。 
　　有一个喜欢她并且到处陪着她的人是可恶的本特利·朱穆尔。一天，我向艾丝黛拉问起了他。 
　　“艾丝黛拉，为什么你亲近像朱穆尔这样的人？你很清楚他是愚蠢的，没有人喜欢他。” 
　　“不要犯傻了，匹普，”她回答说，“也许我亲近他是因为在其他方面有某些影响。” 
　　“可是，他不值得亲近！”我气愤地喊着。 
　　“这样做有什么关系？”她厌倦地回答，“是否我对他微笑？而对你没什么表示。你应当高兴，我没有给你虚假的一眼或虚假的微笑。最后，我始终对你是真情的。” 
　　但是，当我正为艾丝黛拉痛心时，我还没有意识到，我很快会受到完全毁灭我的希望和梦想的这一灾难性的打击。我在认识她以前已经开始的一连串的事件，正慢慢地走向它的结尾。 
　　我和赫伯特迁移到河附近住处，位于寺庙区。一天晚上，他还在国外办理业务，我独自在家里看书。天气恶劣，暴风骤雨和潮湿，大街上泥泞不堪。狂风冲击着河水震动整个楼房，大雨猛烈地击打着窗户。当我在11点钟合上书本时，听到楼梯上有沉重的脚步声。当我拿着灯走到门口时，看到一个人正缓慢地上楼。他穿着一身粗制的衣服，他有一副褐色的脸，蓄着一头灰色长发，大约60岁左右。不过，让我真正吃惊的是他向我伸出双手。 
　　“我能帮你的忙吗？”我有礼貌地但冷冰冰地说。 
　　“啊，是呀，”他放下他的手说，“是的，我会解释的。”他进到客厅，他羡慕地看看周围的家具和书本，又向我伸出双手，但被我拒绝。然后，他吃力地坐在椅子上，用一只很脏的手揩着眼睛。 
　　“你明白，”他说，“让我很失望。这一天我盼望了很久。不过，不会怪你的不友好相待，我会解释的。旁边没有人能听到我们谈话吧？” 
　　“你为什么这样做，一个陌生人，深更半夜到我屋里来，问这种问题？”我问道。这时，我突然认出了他是谁！尽管岁月流逝许多年，我确信他是我那个囚犯！他又伸出双手，这一次我接过他的双手，他把我的双手捧到嘴边接着吻了我的双手。 
　　“很多年以前，你救过我，匹普！我从来不会忘记此事！”他好像要拥抱我，但是，我推开了他。 
　　“如果你是感激我在童年时我所做的一切，我希望你现在改过自新，用不着来这里感谢我。但是，你必须明白……”当我发现他很奇怪地正盯着我时，我停止了说话。 
　　“我必须明白什么？”他说，眼睛紧紧盯着我。 
　　“我不希望做你的朋友，我和你在过去相见过，但是，现在我们的生活是分开的。你走之前，要喝点东西吗？”当我递给他一杯朗姆酒时，我发现他的眼睛盈满了泪水。“如果我说得太刻薄，请原谅，”我补充说，“我说的没有别的意思。祝你未来好运！”我们一起干杯，“你现在过得怎么样啊？” 
　　“我被发落到澳大利亚，你知道，因为我从船上监狱逃跑。几年以后，我刑满释放，因此，允许我为自己干活。在那儿，我什么活都干过，生活很艰苦，但我挣了很多钱。” 
　　“我听了真高兴，”我说，“这提醒了我。我必须把你送给我的两英镑钱还给你，我现在不需要它了。”接着我从钱袋里拿出两张崭新的英镑钞票递给了他。他把钞票拿到灯的附近，直到烧着，他仍然看着我。 
　　“我问你，”他说，“自从我和你在那个寂寞的沼泽地相见后，你是怎么富起来的？”他的眼睛仍然盯着我的眼睛。我开始发抖。 
　　“我——我被选中去继承一笔财富，”我小声地说。 
　　“或许我多少能猜出来，”这个逃犯说，“可能是，唷，一年500英镑？”我抓着椅背站起来，像揣了只小兔一样，心怦怦地跳。 
　　“由监护人安排的这一切，”他继续说，“他或许是一名律师吧，叫贾格斯？” 
　　我突然明白了这个可怕的真相。我哑口无言，喘不过气来，瘫倒在沙发上。他带着可怕的老脸靠近我的脸伏在我上边。 
　　“是啊，匹普，亲爱的孩子，我把你培养为一名绅士！你明白，我向自己保证，把在澳大利亚挣来的钱，都将全部给你！我是你再生之父，匹普！我自己不是一个绅士，我没有上过学。但是，我得到了你，匹普！瞧，你是一名绅士！你有这么多书！你将给我读这些书，匹普！即使我对书本一窍不通，我也会为你感到自豪！你无论如何也想不到提供给你钱的竟是我吧？” 
　　“噢，不，不，不，”我回答说，“从来没有想到，从来没有想到！再没有人知道此事吧？” 
　　“没有，当然，只有我和贾格斯，还能有谁呢？亲爱的孩子，我坚持自己的信念，你明白，通过拼命地工作，就是想着你，我坚信总有一天会回到英国来，见见我的孩子。”他把手放在我的肩上，“现在，你必须给我找个睡觉的地方，”他补充着说，“并记住，不能把此事张扬出去，我是被终生发配在那儿，如果他们发现我已经回来了，将会绞死我。” 
　　我的心情被搅得恐怖慌乱。多年来，一直给我支付用于教育和奢侈的这个人，冒着生命危险来看我。我不可能喜欢他，当他碰我时，事实上我全身是由于厌恶而发抖。但是，我必须保护他。 
　　他到赫伯特的房间去睡觉，我小心地把所有的门紧锁牢后，瘫软地坐在火炉旁，竭力地思考我的人生。我的梦想多么愚蠢！郝薇香小姐从来没有打算让我富有，也没有打算让我和艾丝黛拉结婚。但是，有些比这个更糟糕的事情，就是这个逃犯，他随时都会被抓到处以绞刑。还有，我已经抛弃了乔，为这一点我从来不能，从来不能，从来不能原谅自己。 
　　　    


 